Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Usual Long Overdue Happy New Year post :)

Today - only a picture and a teaser - Midnight catch up conversations that extend into early morning hours; tales of travels, friendships, futures and resolutions; a bright yellow raincoat wearing dolly and sudden, effortless spontaneity - the New Year officially starts now! 

Soon this week - lots, lots more :)

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Inspiration was right where it has always been

Most poignant childhood memories - my brother and me, always separated by the 10 years between us, always united in the gully cricket coaching where little 5 year old me would struggle to hold the bat that was 3/4ths my height and sweep at the big bouncing tennis balls he would toss at me in our living room. Staying up late nights to watch one table turning football game after another, sometimes the league cup would be hanging tumultuously in the balance, sometimes European Championships would be at stake, other times World Cups had to be won, ancient rivalries had to be settled, points had to be proven again and again in timeless repetition. Early morning getting out of bed and parking myself in front of the TV set for a full day of diligent, pain staking Test cricket - over after over of inaction, punctuated by breathtaking stroke play, a brilliant delivery here, a flawlessly executed drive there - and the match is suddenly alive. The rush and adrenaline that only comes with sport - waiting on tenterhooks as the bowler takes his run up and releases the ball in what could be game changing finality; chanting, screaming, pounding with all the air in your gut as the ball passes down right midfield, a haze in black and red darts across the penalty area and shoots towards the net; the blind fury of a poorly made referee / umpire decision, the utter smugness and ecstasy of an old score evened, tearing up with inexplicable emotion when the side you were supporting loses - too many years, too many matches, too many memories.

And too many heroes. Too many who have been too closely intertwined with such a big part of 25 years. I'm proud to be from the generation that witnessed Zinedine Zidane, the original Ronaldo, the Class of '92, Sir Alex Ferguson, Steven Gerrard, Glenn McGrath, Adam Gilchrist, Lance Klusener, Jonty Rhodes, Michael Jordan, Andre Agassi, Sourav Ganguly, Anil Kumble. But none stayed as long, or made such an impact as one Sachin Tendulkar. Everytime any of my people retired, it took away a little bit from the game for me. Heroes are not replaceable. No matter how talented Rooney and Virat Kohli are, they'll never be my Heroes. I'll appreciate them and enjoy watching them. But a part of that something that existed between me and the game, is lost forever. 

And with Sachin Tendulkar gone, that era is over. Because he was around for the entire time that I was! He was around as I said bye to the others. Whenever any one of them left, I took solace in the fact that there's still Sachin. When football became pointless, I found comfort that there's still cricket. But with him gone - I have no one to turn to. No one who inspires me anymore. People excite me, sure. And entertain. But Sachin was not an entertainer. He was a magician. We were so linked that I could be sitting in a classroom writing an exam somewhere, but at the back of my head would be this constant tension of how many he's scored, is he still there, how soon will I be able to watch. The plotting and planning and praying that has driven me mad for so long, kept me hooked for so long. It all ends with this. 

It would be hard in itself. But its even harder because that's how he's timed it. This is the end of a phase of my life in so many other ways. Sachin going, the tomboy that I've always been known to be fading, the 2.5 years in first job itch, turning 25! We're beyond the living alone now. We're at the cooks all meals herself. And not any meals. Mummy meals - tori and gheeya and karela and the likes. The weekend to do list is chores and constant repair work around the house. This house of horrors. A series of electricians, plumbers, maids, dhobis. Cheapie getting married. I moved past it when Blondie got married, and KD got married, and Praneet had a baby! But how do I come to terms with Cheapie getting married. The travel anticipation, the Gokarna trip, experimentation with P, this wardrobe lift, the daily nail painting, the mani and pedi days - this is not a phase. This is THE next phase. And I feel like I need to take sometime to just - box up my yesterdays. Say, thank you for the memories. Say, it was great fun. Say, now we move onward. 

And so that's what this day means. Sachin represented an entire segment of my life. He was the last and the biggest of the Heroes. He was the last one who made me passionately care about something other than the 8 inches of space inside my own head. Because adults don't create heroes. That's a childish phenomenon. Only at our impressionable stages of youth can we put in enough devotion towards someone else. Now we've been taken over by ourselves and our own lives and complexities, and there's just no room for anyone else's sport, or struggle, or life anymore. Its not a bad thing. Its just new. And will take some getting used to. For now, it only matters that it happened. And it was incredible. Thank you, Sachin indeed. You'll be missed.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Some Old, Some New, Some Borrowed, Some Blue

*Bipolar-ness continues, in all walks of life - work, home, weight, sleep - one moment up, the next down. Crests and troughs enough to light up the surrounding ocean.

*An Experiment - "You live out the confusions until they become clear." - this one is for eliminating some of the 871. Starting today.

*Maira Kalman and her love for Libraries - "I love the architecture of public libraries, the very large windows. Inside it's polished, it's quiet; during the day, the sun is usually streaming through one room or another. And all the people are sitting there together, but they're all going to completely different places through the books they're reading."

*I now sleep with music. Current song on loop - Heroes, David Bowie. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013


And you won't disappoint me
I can do that myself

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Friday, February 1, 2013

Things I Love

*Good, solid, challenging work

*Kala Ghoda festival anticipation

*Excel sheets <3

*Moments of completely reckless and uninhibited expression of ideas, feelings, emotions

*Delicious, thick hard bound books

*The good ol' 60s, 70s and 80s. And 50s. And 90s :P